Life after Death
Here’s a reality I was not prepared for. No parents. I really had no clue how to process it. Anger was at the forefront, there is no denying that truth. I was mad at my parents for leaving me all alone. It may have been that I felt alone as a child and through my adult years but they were alive, you know? But now – this is it. It’s done. No phone calls. I’ll never again hear “hey Allie, it’s your dad, you there? Call me.” Or, “Alice, it’s your mom. You must be busy. Okay, well, call me. Love you.” What was your first thought as you read those messages? Yep. Why did my parents leave messages? Why wasn’t I answering my phone? I would answer but not often enough and that, my friends, haunts me to this day.
Here we are, holidays of 2020 and all around me people are afraid to spend time with their loved ones and I just want to shout “stop being ridiculous!!!!!!!!!! Time is so short, it is incredibly precious. Stop living in this man made fear and spend time with your friends and family.” God did provide an amazing blessing that Christmas. Alec was able to get a short leave and Tara and her girlfriend flew in. We had a Christmas weekend together. Having my kids together, at the same time – way too rare of an occurrence – and there are reasons, reasons we’ll get into later. That Christmas…I have great memories and photos to help me remember when those memories dare to fade.
January 2021 and it’s mom’s first birthday without her. I can’t remember a year not sending her a card and gift, chatting with her about what she and her twin sister had planned. Her birthday and Christmas were the two times per year she’d receive a card from her husband, a card filled with heartfelt sentiments written by creative artists. Mom treasured those cards and loved to read the words while we chatted by phone.
The months rolled on. As those who saw through the lies of the world, our family’s circle of friends grew smaller as it focused on those who lived without fear. Our son took the brunt of it as most of his career was filled with deployments and even though more than 90% were “protected” from this deathly virus, they would be sick and share. The treatment of the few who didn’t jab but didn’t get sick…disgusting. So now I’m a mama, trying not to let that anger seep in and working through the anger of being without parents —and then the family ugliness starts. Not my kids. Extended family. Seriously? All glory to God because it was only by His grace that my responses were those that did not result in regret.
Summer comes and Rob and I revisit a move. I absolutely do not want to move. I prayed and prayed to hear a “no” from God but it didn’t happen. There were two choices. Get over myself and partner with my husband as we lean in to what God had for our future or be a shrew and make both of us miserable. Again, all glory to God. I had a few conversations with some moments of anger and frustration but overall it was the brighter and “righter” path. Friends from CO had just moved to GA and we were looking in FL – nothing. Let’s start looking in GA. Plenty of homes but we couldn’t get a contract accepted because we hadn’t yet sold our home so needed a contingency. Alrighty then. Not going to be easy but no need to worry. Lord, if you are indeed calling us in this direction you will make a way. In the meantime, I’ve signed a “remote employee” contract at work so I’m free to “move about the country”. Rob, he’s trying to get approval. August 2nd he gets the approval but it’s not what we expected. The opponent struck a mighty blow but was it a knock-out?
The referee is counting “1, 2, 3…”