Honor Your Father and Your Mother —

Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord is giving you.” (NKJV)

COVID. We’ll just leave that there. Actually, no. I won’t leave it because my heart is heavy for all those who were isolated, alone, lonely and especially those who died alone because of the fear messaging. My mom, Cathy, was a nurse. She followed in the footsteps of her mom, my beautiful nana – Alice. Mom allowed Rob and I to visit from CO but only if we drove and that was due to the reports of people flying when ill and spreading the germ (and come on, how many of us have the history of getting sick when flying – touching the seat backs, arm rests, etc.). Hotels and rest stops offer the same opportunities but I wasn’t going to argue. I was in a place of struggle. Here was the enemy, once again, reminding me of all the stuff in the past when mom chose someone else over me, over her grandkids, didn’t do this or that. It was, as my coworkers are fond of saying today “old tapes” being played. Or, which I prefer, what pastor calls “listening to the wrong voice”. Whichever description one wants to use, it was happening. We need to take a pause here. You see, it would be incredibly easy for me to pound at the keyboard, detailing all the negative, all the disappointments, the failings, etc., that were a part of our relationship, but why? What value is there in judging someone, being resentful, seeking my brand of justice? No doubt if we assembled a group of folks to examine my actions against them, my shortcomings, there would be a similarly painful list. The past is the past.

God always knows what we need and the travel time afforded me during the road trip was what I needed to let go of the old stuff. What I needed was to hear the voice of Jesus. To reflect on His sacrificial love.

Arriving in NV we first checked in to our hotel then on to mom’s. The visit went well overall. And was the first of two we would be allowed. November 7th mom would go home to Jesus. My third trip in as many months was to pack up her belongings and help her husband with some of the final details.

And now what? Both of my parents dead. My grief was compounded by me feeling I’d somehow let them both down. My memories from my teen years remind me that I’d been their care taker for the majority of my life. They were both functional in their ability to get up, go to work, and live a daily life but when they needed someone to talk to about problems, it was me they came to. When they were angry, I was the sounding board. A problem with my brother, yep – me. With both of them dead all I could think is that this was the one event for which I could not be there to help them. They needed help with so many things and this, the absolutely biggest event of their – everyone’s – lives, they had to do alone. It’s done. Finished. They are in their eternity. Wow. Then the self-recrimination. Analyzing everything I did – or didn’t do. Did I honor them? Did I love them as I should have? Was I a good daughter? That last sentence could fill a book. Define good. And what were my obligations to them? Where were they when I was growing up and needed parents? True enough that the times I did turn to them for help they were there but big picture… Big picture, they were my mom and dad and they loved me. They both had massive baggage from their young lives and sadly it wasn’t until very late in their lives until they began to get healthy. In time I would come to learn things that have helped me to love them more and better understand them and their choices.

January 2025. Dad passed eight years ago and mom just over four. Thanks be to God for how He has worked in and through me. Where there was bitterness and anger, there is sadness, for what could have been. When I listen to music that reminds me of my parents, I smile – sometimes through a tear – but I smile. My parents left me a legacy that I am still unpacking. The truth that brings me the greatest joy is that I know both of my parents gave their hearts to Jesus before they died and in proclaiming Jesus as their Savior, they received life; life eternal. My parents are in heaven, with my precious Tyler. That is forever. I cannot be sad knowing that truth. Friends, as you read this, I pray that you have a relationship with Jesus. Jesus loves you. He died for you and me, paying the price for our sins, He conquered death and on the third day He rose! Right here, right now, wherever you are – whatever you are doing, Jesus is ready to hear your prayer, confessing your need for Him as your Lord and Savior, repenting of your sins. We all will have an eternity. The choice is where. God gives us a choice. I waited so long to say “yes” to Jesus, nearly 30 years. There is not a day I regret saying “yes”. My love for Christ grows as my relationship grows deeper. He’s waiting for you. And if you prayed and asked Jesus into your heart, into your life, please share the good news! God bless you